Monday, December 29, 2008

Is the DUI crackdown getting out of hand?

I'm not sure how many times the Dept of Transportation is going to show this award-winning ad before New Year's Eve, but I'm guessing it will rival the number of women Wilt Chamberlain slept with in the 1970's. The message is load and clear: if you drive with 5,698 gallons of water in your car, you will get pulled over. After that, I've learned that a cop will ask you if you've been drinking. If you've been drinking? That's the best you've got Barney Fife?

Come on, clearly if you managed to fill the entire interior of you car with water and then somehow manage to drive, shouldn't the cops ask if you remembered to take your medication? Plus, it looks like there are fish coming out of a few of the cars. Not sure what that's about.

Either way, I can't speak for all Americans, but I think most of us are well aware that if we get pulled over after an all night bar binge we better pull a Daniel Day Lewis acting performance from "There Will Be Blood" or we are pretty much f*cked. Even though Sgt. Dangle from Reno 911 is okay after 11 beers and 3 cosmos, the breathalyzer might see things differently.

Is this ad gonna make me any more likely to call a cab when I'm bombed up during the Holidays? No. I'd get a cab every time I go to the bar if the wait time didn't rival the combined run time of The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

It's like this year is gonna be somehow be more risky to hit the roads at 2am on New Year's Day with a .254 BAC. I don't care if it's a random Friday night, I'm pretty sure anytime after 11pm every cop on every street in every city is looking for DUIs.

Solid waste of money on these stupid ads telling me something I've known since my first DUI at 17. What's next? Is the Treasury Dept gonna remind me that if I want to buy something at a store I might need either cash or a credit card in my wallet? Can't wait for the Dept of Health to tell me if I eat raw ground beef I could get e. coli.

"Pull over..........No it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticin'......yeah, killer boots man."

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